Noël Lynne Figart
BabyWearing
(This article first appeared in March 1996 in America Online's Ma'Zine)
See note below*
Most new parents have heard the about studies that say carrying your newborn for three or more hours a day significantly reduces the amount of the babyis crying. But how does a parent do that and still get through the day? Wear your baby. I know this sounds a little strange or mysterious, but it really isn't. Just carry the baby in a baby carrier. That's babywearing! There are three basic types of baby carriers on the market today: the front carrier, the sling carrier and the backpack. The front carrier is very popular and has many advantages. It is easy to use, the baby is close to you and secure, and the newer ones are often convertible to permit discreet nursing. The baby is snuggled close and can nap securely against you as you go about your day. I did find that some makes of the front carrier put all the baby's weight on the neck. I strongly reccommend trying several out before choosing a particular model. I found that the front carrier has a useful life of four to six months at best.
By that time the baby has gotten downright nosy and won't tolerate only a chest view for very long. At this point, it is important to move on to something with a little more visual stimulation. A baby backpack is a good way to go. Again, try before you buy! Some backpacks require a second person to help adjust the baby safely. For most people, this is worse than useless. There are backpacks that can be handled solo. Shop around. You also want to check and be sure that the frame design distributes baby's weight evenly. You want to be comfortable doing the dishes or whatever you need to do while carrying your baby. The backpack is also very easy to use. You can just put baby in it and go. (And do go! Babies like motion.) I have found that my son loves to look over my shoulder at whatever I happen to be doing at the moment. Of course, there is the problem of him drooling over the back of my neck and grabbing fistfuls of my hair, but that's motherhood.
I highly recommend that any woman with long hair who uses a backpack consider very carefully what she will use to keep her hair out of baby's hands. I used to put my hair in a French twist with one of those ornamental combs, but my son nearly put his eye out when he found out that he could remove the comb. Since then, it's been French braid city. While the backpack is easy and comfortable to use, I have found a disadvantage or two: You can't see your baby. When I need to check on my son, I must go to a mirror. My son loves this since he loves to look at himself in a mirror. If you are a nursing mother and carry your child a lot, you're going to find that the backpack isn't much help in this area.
My personal favorite baby carrier is the sling. If you need versatility, this is it! You can wear your baby in several different positions, itis easy to get the baby in and out, and itis wonderful for nursing. I was given one of the NoJo slings and I copied the design to make a couple that matched my clothes. When my son was very small, I would carry him horizontally as if he were sleeping in a hammock. He felt very secure close to me and the carry cuddled him up to simulate a womb-like environment. If he was hungry and I was out shopping, I could feed him with no fuss. Warning: if you are in public with a baby in this carry, you will get at least one member of the Grandmother Police insisting that the baby is scrunched up and you are ruining his spine. Ignore it. That baby has been in the womb scrunched up for months! As Samuel got a little older and more alert, I would carry him in what the Sears' call the Kangaroo carry. You sit your baby Buddha-fashion in the sling. My son loved this. He could see all around him. Be very careful with this position. It's like being pregnant and a little off balance. When Samuel was five months old, I was at the Maryland Renaissance Faire with him in the kangaroo carry. I tripped on some steps and we both fell. Samuel wasn't hurt, but Mama just about had a heart attack.
Now that Samuel is nine months old, I prefer to carry him on my hip. This position works very well. I can interact with him face to face, he gets to see what I am doing while being close to me and he's safe. When he wants to play on the floor, I can put him down quickly. (Let's face it, babies are not patient little people!) I have found that many mothers try out their baby carriers for the first time when mother-in-law is coming and the house is a wreck. Don't try this! Learn to use the baby carrier while you are relaxed and can go a little more slowly with your day. Any baby carrier requires practice -the sling especially- and you need to take your time with it. Going out for walks is a good way to get started. You can really learn to get several things done at one time then! You're giving your baby needed cuddling, you're giving yourself needed time out of the house and you getting some good exersize that calms and strengthens you in the bargain. But, babywearing isn't just for mommies. My husband, on learning I was writing this article, has this to say:
The Daddy's Point of View
One immediate advantage of babywearing that I have found is, that my son (now 9 months old) has certainly been less fussy than I suspect he otherwise might have been. When a baby is in such close proximity to Mommy or Daddy or extended periods of time, there isn't as much of a need to cry. Why shriek at the top of your lungs when a low, worried-sounding whimper will produce the same result? (Yeah, I know. If only babies really did think this logically...) Also, besides the omnipresent argument "it's better for the baby" (and let's face it, you can get a parent to do pretty much ANYTHING with that phrase), I've found it's also better for the parents! You have more opportunities to talk with your baby, face-to-face and up close (with a sling or front carrier at least), learning each other's subtler nuances. It strikes me that so many new parents' problems arise from not being able to pick up on the baby's intent, and getting flustered or panicky when the crying continues. Wearing your baby allows you a better chance to watch his little face pucker up, or hear his breathing speed up, signalling "I'm about to cry, Daddy." I also get a kick out of just having my son being able to watch me work, do things around the house. I'm more likely to chat with him as I wash dishes, say, or tidy up a bookcase, explaining what I'm doing and letting him become familiar with things. A baby forms associations very quickly: if he has a clear picture in his head of "Books get put here, dishes get stacked here," he's more likely to try to imitate that later on. (Fingers crossed...)
Both my husband and I have found that babywearing is a wonderful parenting aid. We hope that this article will help you learn the fun of babywearing as well!
* You will notice that Peter is wearing Samuel and carrying a coffee cup. Wearing your baby while carrying any hot liquid is really a bad idea. We were lucky that we never tripped and scalded our baby.